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老師 / 青年工作者 – CHILL LAB 超正常研究室

CHILL LAB 超正常研究室

「輕生」意念到自殺非一朝一夕 家人不能說的禁語

「輕生」意念到自殺非一朝一夕 家人不能說的禁語TEST

17/06/2019 | 專欄分享, 經濟日報, 精神健康解碼

「輕生」這話題富爭議性,社會亦曾經提倡禁止傳媒報導自殺個案,因題材具傳染性 (contagious) ,怕引起模仿效應 。研究指出,每當有人自殺,至少有六個人會受影響 (Shneidman,1993), 首當其衝便是家人,其次是朋友,連得知事件的人也可能受牽連。

由「輕生」這個意念 (suicidal ideation) 到自殺,當中有一個過程,並不是一朝一夕 的!當有觸發點時,事主就可能會很衝動地「做傻事」。

就如早陣子收到一個片段,有一位年青男子在中國的高速公路上,由私家車衝去跳橋,之後 不治。原來他在生活上受到挫折,在車上和媽媽傾訴時更受到批評,相信他感到得不到支 持,便不想再生存下去⋯⋯ 這種不顧後果的想法和做法,並不是一下子得來的!無論那媽媽 怎樣哭斷腸,後悔也太遲了⋯⋯

多點聆聽和關

身為至親,如果我們可以仔細留意親人多一點,願意付出多一點時間聆聽,和給予多些關懷 和鼓勵,一定可以避免悲劇發生的!有輕生意念的人,大多數比較敏感和自責,所以跟他們 傾談時不應該語氣過重和帶批判性,例如:「你的做法太愚蠢,怎樣教也改不到的⋯⋯」。希望 家長可以從今開始向「批評式教導」SAY NO!

如果你發現身邊有親人或朋友有輕生意念,而你選擇逃避話題,以為簡單說一句:「不要再多 想了⋯⋯」就當解決了當事人的問題, 那就未免有點不負責任!

如果關心當事人的話,應該做一個聆聽者,鼓勵當事人講出心裏的問題和感受,而且不應該 批判當事人,因為你未必感受到當事人的痛楚!如果自問不是一個好的聆聽者,可以協助當 事人找一個更合適的傾訴對象,也可以找社工或輔導員跟進。

如果發現當事人有抑鬱的症狀,例如連續兩個星期:

– 情緒低落
– 失眠
– 胃口下降
– 沒精打采
– 連喜歡的人和事都避開

應該協助當事人尋求專業協助,例如心理學家和精神科醫生。

「輕生」扭轉為「輕鬆生活

「輕生」並不只是個人的問題,而是極需要關注的社會問題,但願我們每一個人由現在開 始,每天都花多一點時間去關心身邊的人,便可以一起將 「輕生」扭轉為「輕鬆生活」*!

作者之前在香港大學研究兒童及青少年情緒及自殺行為多年,放下了一大堆沈重的數據和理 論後,與其他義工一起建立慈善團體「關懷兒童及青少年情緒基金 」 ,希望實踐理論,預 防大眾「做傻事」。

*「輕生」變「輕鬆生活」主意,由義工 David Ho 提供

撰文:黃寶珊博士 香港心理衞生會委員、英國及香港註冊心理學家